Stories For Us

I confess, I was never the girl who dreamed about having babies. I didn’t have names picked out when I was a twelve, nor did I imagine a day I’d have a houseful of kids. I wasn’t around many babies in my childhood, and I didn’t babysit much in adolescence. The rare times I did babysit ended in disasters like the kids ganging up on me, tying me to a chair with jump ropes and spinning me around, or an angry girl locking me out of the house and calling her mom at work to tell her how horrible I was. I fared better with children when they were at a distance – as in I was performing safely on a stage with my Dad and they sat well-behaved with their parents in the audience.

I knew I would have kids some day, but it was more of a matter-of-fact “Of course I will have kids someday,” rather than an emotional “Oh I can’t wait!!” daydream.

Even admitting those things in writing gives me this weird sense of guilt, as if I’m wired incorrectly or something. It’s not that I didn’t like kids, because I genuinely did. I just wasn’t the girl who gushed and cooed over every little, adorable, fuzzy-headed baby who crossed her path.

So when I got pregnant, even though we were “ready” to have kids (tongue in cheek because you are never really ready!), I was terrified, a little bit sick to my stomach, and not from the hormones. I wasn’t sure I could be trusted to raise a baby. What in the world would I do with him or her all day? How in the world with my sensitive gag reflexes would I ever be able to change thousands of stinky diapers? And what if the child threw up? I was the kid who threw up when my brother threw up merely out of sympathy. I looked at the positive pregnancy test, and then at Kedron and asked, “Are we sure about this?” He laughed, “A little late for that!”

Here I was a confident, type-A, driver, task-oriented person, who was often complimented in the workplace for learning things quickly. But when it came to babies – I. Was. Terrified.

And then seven years ago Little Miss Sunshine rather dramatically entered my life, and turned me upside down and inside out. It’s not that I suddenly fell in love with babies and turned into this super maternal woman. Except for when it came to her. I was mush. I went into motherhood overdrive. And I’ve never been the same. I’m still not a super baby oriented person. Although I have much more confidence now in calming a crying little one, entertaining them, making them laugh, ok so I think babies are pretty awesome.

I discovered that the things I was good at before having kids became even greater strengths in motherhood. God wired me just for this child (and her little brother T-Rex). And while I’m not a perfect parent, I’m perfectly fitted to parent them. Somewhere along the line I stopped beating myself up for all the lack of what I thought should be “normal” maternal feelings and actions, and I embraced who I was, just how God had created me.

There’s nothing quite like watching a mini-me run around the house. I knew I was in trouble not long ago when she worked me over and tried to get me in trouble with my own Dad. We had been discussing how Grandpa Steve used to have hair. That was a completely novel concept to her and she couldn’t imagine what he looked like with hair. Somewhere in the course of the conversation I told her, “Well, I was happy when he started shaving the rest of his hair off. He looks so much better bald!”

She tucked that conversation in the back of her little brain to use against me later. A few weeks after that we were visiting my parents when I heard her say, “Grandpa Steve, my mommy says you looked terrible with hair!” Oh yes, I have met my match. I came screeching into the room, “That is NOT what I said!!” One look at my Dad and I knew he was going to milk this for all it was worth. His shoulders were shaking in silent laughter and his eyes sparkled with mischief. “So, I looked terrible with hair, huh?” I knew I was had.

And I was glad to be had. I couldn’t imagine life any other way. Happy Birthday this weekend Little Miss Sunshine!!

Continue reading

family, kids, motherhood, parenting

My husband doesn’t like my driving. I really can’t blame him. It’s not that I’m reckless, I’m just not that good at it. I tend to get distracted, writing stories in my head and people-watching other drivers. Is he picking his nose or just adjusting his glasses? Is she really putting on her lipstick while driving? Not that I’m any better than them, I like to watch them more than the road!

Apparently my most annoying driving quality is how I handle the gas pedal.

Read the rest today at Circle of Friends….

Continue reading

Circle of Friends, faith, funny

It seems like everyone is talking about New Year’s resolutions, or goals, or determinations, or whatever it is you want to call them. Deadlines. I call mine deadlines. Yes, because if you don’t finish them you might end up dead. Ok, not really, but in my less sane moments (and I do have a lot of those) that’s how it feels!

Kedron asked me the other day if I had any resolutions. I gave him my classic one-eye-brow-raised look that says, you’re kidding right? And then I said out loud, “Besides writing a book?”

Yes, the big fat deadline of May 1 that’s hanging over my head. All else seems to pale behind that deadline. Envelopes keep coming in the mail that continually remind me of this big responsibility and privilege. And suddenly, I wonder what in the world I was ever thinking when I thought it was a good idea to write a book some day. I’m more thankful than ever that the details of this project are such that I can’t doubt God’s hand in it, because I’m certainly doubting everything about myself!

Well, except for my solitaire skills. I don’t doubt those anymore. I’ve gotten quite good at it actually. I can even beat it with a three card draw. And then there’s another fun game in my solitaire app called Lady of the Manor. I can beat that one quite handily too.

Umm….what was I talking about again? Oh, yeah, writing. And that pretty much sums it up. If anyone ever wants to send me an email or a facebook message, please do. It only needs to say three words, “Get back to writing!” Oh, I guess that’s four words. Even better word count. (Those little words add up!) I’ll be sure to see your friendly reminder. Any time of day. Or night.

Now what was I supposed to be doing? Oh yeah. Writing.

Continue reading

It’s hard to believe that 2011 is nearly over. For me, it was a year of taking big steps forward in fulfilling some writing dreams. God met me in some exciting ways, and one of those meetings occurred this past summer when I met my new friend Cindy at the Speak Up with Confidence Seminar in Grand Rapids.

Cindy has an incredible God story, and is one of the most encouraging women I know. She also has a very sparkly, encouraging blog. On her sparkly blog, she is launching an exciting challenge for 2012 – memorizing 26 Bible verses, from A-Z. Cindy is picking 26 verses that you and your family can memorize together, and every 2 weeks she will post a new verse on her blog. I’m joining her challenge (time to get this rusty memory oiled again!), and I’d love it if some of my friends would join in too! Cindy has some incredible things planned, along with some very exciting giveaways.

Go check out her posts on the Scripture Memory Challenge and let her know (and me too please!) if you’ll be participating. The first verse will be posted January 1!!

Continue reading

Bible, faith, family, verses

Thank you all so much for your kind words of support and encouragement after my post yesterday. Although writers can turn into hermits while working on a project, no author ever truly writes in a vacuum. I believe it’s the community of family and friends pouring into my life that helps keep my writing real and meaningful. I appreciate each one of you!j

With this added workload, I’ve been working to keep life simple. Have you heard the acronym K.I.S.S., meaning “Keep It Simple Sweetie”? I have a new acronym: S.A.S.S. Simple as Sliced Swiss.

Last week while I was signing up to bring an item for our Bible Study Fellowship leader’s Christmas fellowship, the “desserts” line caught my eye. I love everything about desserts. I love desserts waaay too much. I love to plan to make them, I love to make them, I love to eat them, I love to share them with others. As my pen reached to write my name under desserts, I glanced at the line above. They also needed sliced swiss cheese.

I moved back to desserts. But hard as I tried, I could not write my name on the line for desserts. I instinctively knew that I shouldn’t bring a dessert. It might seem like a small matter, but making a dessert to bring to the fellowship would have taken a couple hours at best – shopping for ingredients, planning, baking, and packing up to bring. Sliced swiss only takes a moment to buy at the store. It felt like such a cop out. But it was no less a need than desserts were.

I sighed and wrote my name down to bring sliced swiss. The time I save not baking a dessert is a “crack of time” that can be spent writing. For this season of life, God has called me to bring sliced swiss, not to bake. There will be a season to bake and sew and make handmade cards again – when there isn’t a deadline hanging over my head.

This week when I glanced at the sign up sheet again – all the lines for desserts were filled, but there were still empty slots for sliced swiss.

I now dub this season of my life to be S.A.S.S.

Continue reading

Happily signing the next 5 months away!

I remember sitting in the center of my pink bedroom in junior high, thinking that someday I would write a book. It was an odd thought to me, but I felt a deep impression that it was something I should do. Although I have always loved words and stories for as long as I can remember talking, I wasn’t one to journal my thoughts and memories regularly (something I probably should start doing!).

The thought of writing a book never went away. I tried to forget about it, but it kept coming back like a boomerang.

Over the past few years as I have taken steps forward in my writing, God has opened some exciting doors for me to share the stories of life and how they fit into His greater story. One of those doors that has blessed me not only by allowing me to share stories, but in gaining a wonderful group of friends is the Circle of Friends Ministry.

A few months ago, Circle of Friends asked if I would partner with them in writing a book for a series of Christian living titles they are creating with Barbour publishing. The books are short, easy to read, and filled with humor and Biblical insight. The first title Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat? Breaking the Cultural Mirror by Jocelyn Hamsher releases next month. I have read it, and you will love it!

I was so humbled by their offer to write a book for them. One of the God moments came as I realized I have always said, “I’d love to write a book someday, but I have no idea what I’d write about.” When they sent me the offer to write, they also sent a list of topics and titles to choose from. The one that jumped out at me was on relationships and doing life together.

Today, I mailed off two sets of contracts. I walked out of the Post Office shaking my head. It all seemed surreal, and such a gift. Yet with the gift comes great responsibility.

I would greatly appreciate your prayers as I embark on this journey. My life doesn’t give me Grand Canyons of time to write. Instead, I have small cracks here and there, and I must learn to see them and take advantage of each one. I’m also realizing that I will be growing through the material. I’ve found that I’ve only been able to write small chunks at a time because God is challenging and changing me as I write. I have already faced personal obstacles, directly related to doing life together and living in community. I promise you, what ends up in the book is going to be authentic!

Thanks as always for your encouragement here! Now, as the agent instructed…. I’m off to my cave to write. Hopefully my family will throw in presents and food on Christmas Day

Continue reading

book, Circle of Friends, publishing, writing

When I was pregnant with T-Rex, we didn’t find out if we were having a boy or a girl; but for nine months, I was fairly certain he was a boy. Call it mother’s intuition, I guess. I remember kissing and hugging on Little Miss and wondering if a boy would be as huggable and kissable. I remembered that this morning when he crawled into bed with us to snuggle. I squeezed him and whispered, “Happy 5th Birthday, T-Rex!”

He smiled a sleepy grin, his blonde hair sticking out every which way. He’s the snuggliest, huggiest boy I know. We spent some time on the couch this morning reading some of his new birthday books, and he leaned his head on my shoulder the entire time. I hope he never outgrows snuggling me. I told him that I was pretty tired today (from a weekend of birthday celebrations!), and he asked, “Didn’t you get enough snuggles?” He then tucked a blanket over us and we snuggled for awhile.

Best presents ever. And it wasn’t even my birthday.

And as I type this, I hear a cat “meowing” the happy birthday song, which means T-Rex is playing with his singing cards instead of sleeping

Continue reading

family, funny, kids, parenting

Last Friday T-Rex had his first school party which included a costume parade. Later that day, Little Miss was asking T-Rex how his party and parade went.  He replied rather disgustedly, “For the parade we just marched through all the classrooms and around the building!!” His tone of voice totally said, “It was lame, that is soooo not a parade.”

I was in the corner giggling silently. Little Miss asked, “Did you think you were going into town and marching down the street with lots of people?”

T-Rex practically yelled, “Yeah, and people would throw candy!!”

Of course. A parade is in town with floats and candy and lots of people waving at you. You are the center of attention for at least 3.2 seconds as you pass and it is a glorious 3.2 seconds of fame and glory.

Life often isn’t the grand parade we imagined it to be. The question is what do we do when it rains on our parade? Do we go jump in the puddles and not let it steal our joy? Or do we go sit in the corner and pout because things didn’t go our way?

Continue reading

I often forget that God cares about the small details of my life. It’s easy to ask for help and guidance when I have a major issue, like a wrecked relationship. But when I didn’t know what to do about breakfast, I didn’t even think to ask for help; yet He gave it anyway.

Read the rest over at Circle of Friends...

Continue reading

Circle of Friends, faith, prayer