Recent Funny Moments

Million Dollar Moment #16

Little Miss just completed a week of Safety Town. Every evening for a week, kids entering kindergarten heard important messages from “safety heroes” in our town  – firemen, bus divers, policemen – and learned silly songs with memorable messages. At the end of the week, the parents came for a party and they sang us their songs and answered questions about what all they learned that week. Upon completion of the “Safety Town Celebration” Little Miss looked at me wide eyed and said, “That was the first time I sang on stage in front of people. I liked it. When can I do it again?” No doubting whose daughter she is.

#17

On the way home from Safety Town Celebration, we had a discussion on which Disney Princess was the most safety smart. We determined it was Cinderella. She had a mean stepmother, but she always did her work with a good attitude, and then she obeyed her fairy godmother and went straight home at midnight like she was instructed not even stopping for her slipper. We decided the least safety smart was Snow White because she let the stranger in the dwarves’s home. That was one of the most bizarre conversations I’ve ever had.

#18

One recent evening at the park, T-Rex kept asking me to do something for him over and over and over. I finally said, “I haven’t heard a please yet.” He looked at me and said, “Yeah, neither have I!”

Who moved my cooler?

Million Dollar (maybe Gazillion) Moment #15

My running partner Jen and I are training for the Detroit Marathon this October. This past weekend we reached a new milestone for us – 16 miles. It was a gorgeous early evening run and the best I have felt in a few months.

When we run that many miles, we’ve discovered that we need a drink about every 2 miles. We planned ahead and dropped coolers with drinks, banana slices, sports beans and power gel (a refueling substance) every 2 miles along our 6 mile loop. Our route was out in the country on dirt roads. We rarely rarely see cars on these roads, but we still stashed our coolers in the tall grasses so they weren’t visible from the road.

After we had finished the run, stretched and showered, we headed out in the car to go pick up our coolers. That’s when things got interesting. It was dark by this time, and we could not find our second cooler. We hunted and hunted and shone the headlights on the corner where we were sure we had left it. About the time we gave up and decided Jen would go back and look for it in the morning, the young Amish man from across the street came over and asked us if we were looking for a lunchbox. He then told us that the neighbors down the street had picked it up. They had seen it on the corner and saw that it was full of stuff and just couldn’t understand why it was there so they took it home. Jen explained to him that we were training for a marathon and need drinks every couple miles so we had left it there to use during our run. The conversation had a hilariuos loop to it because he just kept saying over and over that they didn’t understand why it was there. Finally, Jen got out of him which neighbor had picked it up, and thankfully she happened to know who they were.

The next morning she headed down to the neighbor’s house to get the cooler, and sure enough they had it. The lady said they saw it sitting there and that it looked like someone had put it there and not like it had fallen off a car and she had picked it up because it didn’t make any sense to her. Oh my. So Jen explained to her about our training for a marathon and asked her that if she saw anything like that again to please leave it because it would be ours. The lady smiled and said she would.

That same morning Jen was unloading the other coolers when she found a surprise in one of the larger ones. She opened it and on top was a note that read “Sorry I got your cooler greasy. I wanted to see what was in it and had been working on a tractor. Put some extra goodies in there for ya.”

Now if you found a cooler full of drinks, banana pieces, sports beans and sports gels, and if you decided to leave treats for the athletes in said cooler, what might you put in it? Cookies? More water? Or how about a package of pink peeps, a bottle of A-1 steak sauce, a packet of hot chocolate, a McCormicks Grill Mates Hawaiian Luau spice packet, and an onion? That is exactly what she found in our cooler. She called me, and I have been laughing all day long.

We’ve decided that we’d better start hiding our coolers better. We had no idea that her country neighbors would be so creatively nosy.

And in case you are worried about us, because I know some of you are – we always run in daylight, with a cell phone, and most of the time with pepper spray.

I have a picture of the cooler and its contents, but I can’t get it to upload. So sad!

Dreaming of Cheese

Million Dollar Moment #14

Of all the things that we look forward to as parents – first smile, first tooth, first steps, first words – there are so many things along the way that you never realize will be memorable milestones – like the first time they attach a real name to a toy, or the first time they tell you about a dream.

The other day, T-Rex told me about a dream he had while sleeping in the car. It’s the first time he’s ever re-told a dream to me, and it had me and Little Miss in stitches.

T-Rex: When I was in the car and sleeping, I was dreaming about a man, and every time he opened his mouth, cheese came out. It was like when a dragon breathes fire, but it was a man and he breathed cheese.

Little Miss: He was a cheese breathing dragon?

T-Rex: No, he was a man. He was a cheese breathing man.

And by this time, all three of us were cracking up. I knew he loved dragons. He apparently loves cheese too!

Floating Farm

#12 Million Dollar Moment

My dad is a magician/juggler/clown. My father-in-law is a magician/juggler/storyteller. I can do ventriloquism. My husaband and I and all 3 of our brothers can juggle. His sister can do mime. We all (including the mothers) know how to properly manipulate a puppet and at least twist a balloon dog.

Therefore, it should not surprise you that my kids would request a floating farm of balloon animals in their swimming pool and that my mom would happily twist a pool full of balloons to oblige.

Tickle Fest

One recent evening, Little Miss was sitting on my lap and we were having a tickle fest. She’s never been one to sit and cuddle; even as a baby she was always on the go, constantly wiggling and moving. So tickling has been our method of “cuddling.”

I paused in the tickle fest and began to whisper in her ear about how ticklish her daddy is, and where his tickle spots are. As we were whispering, The Narrator walked over with a “And what’s that you’re talking about, huh?” Without skipping a beat, Little Miss replied, “Shirts. We’re talking about how many shirts I have in my closet.”

The Narrator didn’t buy her attempt at a white lie, and replied while lurching at me, “Your Momma has lots of ticklish spots too!” Next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor, laughing uncontrollably trying to get away.

In an instant, I felt something physically release inside of me. I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed that hard – the kind of laughter where you can’t help yourself and you couldn’t stop if you tried. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and as I lay writhing on the floor, I felt something penetrate my bones and move through my body. I was lighter. Life was simpler. I was a kid again. I was 17 and falling in love with the man of my dreams. I hadn’t a care in the world, and was flattered by his attentions. My life full of potential and unlimited dreams lay before me. All that from laughter resonating deep in the soul.

He finally let me go with a twinkle in his eye. The kids had joined in too. T-Rex had pounced on my head tickling my neck, and Little Miss was pulling on my leg trying to save me. I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes. Before I resumed the weight of adulthood, I lingered in the light carefree moment and breathed in my family.

I’m not saying that we should all be tickled once a week until we laugh so hard we can’t breathe, but it was nice to laugh so hard and just let go of adult assumptions and pretentions.

#4 Million Dollar Moments

Blueberries this way

I’m kind of addicted to picking blueberries. And eating them. I’ve gone blueberry picking 3 times this month. I never knew what I was missing!

My second blueberry picking trip was with my Mom and Little Miss Sunshine. Unlike our first picking trip, the day was clear and sunny and gorgeous. The blueberries had plumped and hung on the bushes in clumps singing in unison “pick me!! pick me!!” I never realized how many blueberries could grow on one bush. You could stand at one bush and pick probably a pound of blueberries or more by the handfuls. The sweet aroma like blueberry muffins hung in the air. I am definitely going to have to plant some blueberry bushes.

Once our buckets were full we headed back to the car to drive to the stand to pay for our treats. We had arrived before the rush and the street was filling up. I had parked on a slight incline and as I was backing up, I thought I was getting stuck on the hill. I made it out onto the street and realized I had run over their little wooden sign with an arrow that said, “blueberries” to help people know the blueberries were behind the row of apple trees. Oops.

Little Miss Sunshine was rather concerned. “You’re going to tell them you’re sorry you ran over their sign, aren’t you? You better tell them you’re sorry.” Oh…the values we instill in our children come to haunt our own actions. “Yes, Little Miss, I’ll tell them I’m sorry.” Although I really didn’t want to admit I’d knocked it over. I tried to stand it back up, but it needed a staple, or nail…or superglue.

As I was checking out, I could tell that Little Miss had an eagle eye on me to make sure I apologized. As I handed the dear owner my cash I said, “And…I accidentally ran over your blueberry sign.” She looked at me and said, “Oh, well did you put it back up?” I shifted my feet, “Uh, I tried, but I think it needs a staple to hold it together, I’m sorry.” There I said it. Whew. I loaded up a bag with cucumbers to kind of make up for the poor sign. I figured it was time to try to make pickles anyway. She said she’d have one of the guys look at it and put it back together.

We got in the car and I informed Little Miss that I had done my deed.

We returned to pick a few more pounds of blueberries one more time. There’s nothing like having a freezer full of blue summer in January to break the icy doldrums. I hoped the owner didn’t recognize me from the other day, and if she did, she didn’t mention it. She was just happy I bought 5 more pounds of berries, and some peppers and broccoli too. I did notice that the sign was back up, and had a little string for extra support. I parked on the road, nowhere close to the sign.

#3 Million Dollar Moments

Politics according to a 5-year-old

We were gathering opinions for where we should go to dinner tonight when this conversation erupted in the backseat:

T-Rex: Chick-fil-a! (his response every time we ask him where he wants to eat)
Little Miss: There aren’t any Chick-fil-a’s in Michigan remember?
T-Rex: Chick-fil-a!
Little Miss: We don’t have Chick-fil-a in Michigan because the governor doesn’t like Chick-fil-a. Soon we will have a new governor and maybe he will say, “Someone can open a Chick-fil-a in Michigan now!”
Narrator: Where did you get that idea, Little Miss?
Little Miss: Papa

I knew it.

I think that should be part of the gubernatorial debates, “And sir, what do you think of Chick-fil-a, and will you allow them to open franchises in Michigan?”

What?? A blog post????

Wonders never cease!

So, I’m thinking about blogging again, especially, since all our Florida friends said that they would be checking here for updates! Ay. What a few weeks it has been. It seems like it has been sooo much longer, but when I look at a calendar, it reminds me that we only put our home up for sale in Florida 2 months ago. 2 months. Feels like 2 lifetimes.

Here’s a quick update for now and I’ll blog more thoughtfully on a few points later.

We had a smooth drive north. On their way down to Florida my in-laws’ van had been overheating. While it was empty and pulling an empty trailer. The night before we headed north there were five guys huddled around the open hood of the van. If you didn’t look closely you might have assumed they were laying hands on the engine and praying for it, which might not have been a bad idea. Maybe they did that too, I wouldn’t put it past that group (My dad, My father-in-law, The Narrator and his 2 best FL buddies). No, it just took five of them to empty some bottle of gook into the engine (or some other part under the hood) that apparently sealed up the problem because the van ran a great pace all the way back to Michigan and never overheated once. As a side note, right after pouring the gook in the engine (don’t you love my technical jargon?) they decided to give our neighbors one last show of weirdness before we moved. The Narrator pulled out his fire balls….seriously, juggling balls you light on fire, I’m NOT making a joke! And we all took a turn juggling them. Well, not all of us, I guess. The Narrator was the only one who really juggled them. By the time I tried they were too hot for my delicate hands to handle. My Dad gave it a whirl too, and the kids just thought it was awesome.

We were greeted in Michigan by dear family and friends….and snow. It was drizzling while we were unloading the trailer that Sunday, and I very distinctly felt the rain get crunchy. If you’ve never felt cold, crunchy rain you have no idea what you’re not missing. That day it wasn’t anything that stuck to the ground, just made the cold cling to your bones. However, God answered Little Miss Sunshine’s prayer not long after that with FIVE inches of snow. In April. Seriously, I think God brought those five inches of wet snow just for her. The city where The Narrator is working didn’t have any snow. We had FIVE. By evening the snow was all gone, but not before the kids crammed in a whole winter’s worth of fun into a few hours. From a giant snowman, to a snowball fight, sledding around the yard, and snow angels, it was a day straight from Heaven for them.

We’re happy to be here, although we miss all our friends in Florida and can’t wait to get into our own home up here so we can set up house and begin to host our friends and family again. We continue to be patient as we pray for the sale of our home, and God continues to give us reminders of why this is the right thing for us for right now. We were able to go visit The Narrator’s sister and her family out west Easter weekend. We rode with the in-laws and met up with them in Omaha, Nebraska. This was the first time we had been able to meet our precious twin girl nieces. Little Miss and T-Rex fell in love with “the babies.” We spent a day at the Omaha zoo (which is AMAZING!). The day after we arrived home, T-Rex woke up and the first thing he asked was “Can we see the babies today??” Aww. That trip wouldn’t have been possible from Florida, we were just too far away. We’re looking forward to more visits with (and from) our family in Nebraska and Ohio.

Unfortunately, while we were in Nebraska, I came down with strep throat AGAIN. I had it about 6 weeks ago before we moved. Monday after we got home, I dragged myself to the walk-in clinic and waited with everyone else who had gotten sick over the Easter holiday. Finally they saw me and confirmed what I already knew and just needed a prescription for. Little Miss and T-Rex were soooo tired from the trip, that they BOTH fell asleep in the shopping cart while I got my prescription at the grocery store. Needless to say, I was grumpy. I was grumpy that I had strep again, grumpy that I had to go to the doctor, grumpy that I didn’t get to hold my nieces very much because I was sick. Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy. And that was when I was reminded how incredibly friendly this part of Michigan is. The staff at the very busy walk-in clinic was genuinely nice, almost overly nice – from the front desk to the nurse to the doctor, even the pharmacy staff at the grocery store. Everyone was chatty and open and friendly and so sorry that I was sick and so nice to my kids, that it took me by surprise. It’s not that Florida isn’t friendly, it’s just that the general public isn’t as….friendly. I’ve been to the doctor’s office or the grocery store and never had anyone say a word to me. I’ve checked out without ever exchanging a single word with the cashier (some days it’s just too hard to try to initiate conversation while making sure I don’t get overcharged for something and that my kids don’t grab and start eating candy off the checkout racks!!).

These friendly encounters when I was feeling so lousy and unfriendly reminded me why we came back. There’s something unique about this part of the country and we’d like to raise our kids here.

Speaking of kids….we’ll be spending Saturday with some cows and ponies and random other animals. Life in the country can be fun!!

Kid Quips

I had an imaginary friend named Jennifer when I was younger. In fact, I talked about Jennifer so much that my Mom had a dream about her once. I vividly remember the day I went to the moon and Jennifer filled in at me at the dinner table so that my parents wouldn’t worry about me and realize I had gone to the moon. Somehow, she blew my cover and they didn’t buy her story that she was really me and that I had gone to the moon. I think I fired her as my imaginary friend after that point.

Little Miss apparently acquired my imagination gene. She geniously came up with not just an imaginary friend, but an imaginary school. Two of them, in fact. She has her “old school” and her “better school.” Both schools are filled with imaginary friends and school buses and teachers, and even homework. She was scribbling on some paper the other night and said to T-Rex. “Please don’t bother me. I’m doing my homework.” I have NEVER seen a kid want to go to school so badly. There isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t talk about school at least once. In fact, a couple days ago she said to me, “When a kid talks about their school a lot and their homework, are they school kids?” I nodded a wary yes to which she replied, “I talk about school a lot, so I’m a school kid too!” Wow. Let’s hope this translates into real-life and makes an easy transition into kindergarten!

T-Rex has become quite the little handy man, which should be no surprise since he shadows The Narrator on every project he works on. When we finished our bathroom repair, T-Rex pointed to the spot in the shower where there used to be a hole and said, “I fixed that! I did it!!” One night while The Narrator and I were on a date, Housemate was watching the kids and T-Rex pulled out one of the tacks that holds the speaker cord to the wall. She told him not to mess with it and he said, “I fix it!” He went to his toy toolbox, pulled out his toy hammer, and hammered the tack back into place in the wall!!

That same date night, Little Miss discovered a bug on the lanai and began to fuss over it. Housemate told her she wasn’t going to pick it up either. T-Rex shouted, “I get it, I get it!” And then disappeared down the hallway towards his bedroom. He came back wearing the construction gloves from his dress up box and picked up the bug and put it in the trash! What a good little man!!

One night while putting Little Miss to bed, she was playing with my hair and asked why my hair was “crunchy” I told her it was from the product I had put in my hair to hold my curls.
“Princesses don’t have crunchy hair do they? They have soft hair like mine.”
“Well, some princesses might have crunchy hair.”
“Which ones have crunchy hair? Not Cinderella, or Belle, or Sleeping Beauty. Their hair is soft.”
“No, my guess would be that Ariel has crunchy hair, from the ocean water. And Jasmine too, she probably has crunchy hair.” That seemed to make Little Miss happy!

Virtual Entertainment

Little Miss & T-Rex hunched over the computer while video chatting

I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner, but now that we’re about ready to move closer to our families, we’ve started video chatting. Seriously, you don’t need t.v. when you can watch the kids video chat with their grandparents.

Both of our Dads are magicians and jugglers. In fact, our kids think that every adult knows how to juggle. They will randomly hand 3 toy balls to friends at parties and demand, “Juggle!!” We’ve had to explain that just because their grandpas, daddy, mommy, and uncles can juggle, not ALL adults know how to. It’s a bit confusing for them.

Within a few minutes of their video chatting, Little Miss will ask my Dad to “do a magic trick, Grandpa! Do you have a trick ready for tonight?” I’ll never forget the first time he did a trick for them over the video. Little Miss’s eyes got as large as saucers as Grandpa took a scarf, stuffed it into his hand and then showed his empty hands, then pulled it out of his fist again. She was re-telling the story the next day to a friend, “And then he put the scarf in his hand AND IT WAS GONE!!!” and she flashed her empty hands just like my Dad had done. A couple days later, she asked The Narrator to do a trick for her, and he took her doll’s blanket and threw it over her head and told her it had disappeared. She turned around and saw the blanket behind her and was unimpressed. “That’s not MAGIC! You have to make it disappear like Grandpa did!”

One night a couple weeks ago, the kids entertained my parents with a puppet show. I have never seen a pig beat up a dog before, but it was rather entertaining! Like I said, who needs t.v.? It’s almost like virtual babysitting. I can turn the chat on and go read a book while they grab every piece of paper they have recently scribbled on to show off to the grandparents. The funniest though was when T-Rex tried to give Grandpa one of his drawings by “handing” it to him over the video. He kept smashing the paper up against the screen expecting Grandpa to take it from him! Ahh. Maybe someday!

Now we need to get some of the cousins hooked up with webcams. Now THAT I can’t wait to see. Four-year-olds chatting together. I need to remind my brother to get out in the garage and find his webcam!!