The parenting moments we live for

There are a few moments in parenting time that seems to stand still. It’s like I’m watching things in slow motion, trying to soak up every moment thinking, “THIS is what I’ve been waiting for.” It’s occurred a few times – like when Little Miss had some dental work done and didn’t fuss or shed a single tear. Then there was the morning that hubby and I slept in and when we got up, both kids were fully dressed and playing quietly in their room. Sweet bliss!!

This evening was one of those times where I stepped back and was amazed. Our children go from infants needing help for absolutely everything, to children who can think and reason and carry on deep conversations with ease in a short number of years. We had taken the kids to see their Papa do a magic show at a local church tonight. During the program he had presented the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection. We’ve been talking about that in our home for a few weeks as we have studied it in our Bible study and at church. Tonight, Little Miss was rehearsing the story back to us, and then asked how people know about Jesus. So we were explaining how the disciples, with God’s direction, wrote the story of Jesus in the Bible so we could read it and how people just keep telling people who keep telling people. She then asked if she could tell people. “Absolutely, honey! You definitely can tell people about Jesus.” She replied with, “Let’s practice. You pretend you’re the kid and I’ll be the mom.”

And so I started asking questions. Who was Jesus, where did He come from, what is sin, why does it matter if I sin, does God care if I sin? What happened when Jesus died? Where is He now? Wow, did she answer. As we kept going, I decided not to hold back and really grill her, complete with questions about the trinity. I was amazed how with simple, yet profound, child-faith she was never rattled, and answered everything so sincerely. And if she didn’t know the answer she’d say, “I don’t know, sweetie. I haven’t read that chapter in the Bible yet!”

My heart swelled and I thanked God for His presence in her life and for her sincere love for Him. I prayed that this love for Him will continue her whole life and that she’d be able to share His love with others as naturally as she breathes – that He would be so much a part of her that His love seeps out of her gracefully and continually. This love and faith is what we prayed for since before her birth. I know the road isn’t guaranteed to be easy. It never is, and Jesus didn’t promise that. But He did promise His presence and His help. And that is what I pray she will recognize her whole life.

** I really have to thank the leaders at Bible Study Fellowship. Over the past 2 years, they have partnered with us as parents in teaching God’s Word to our kids. This year we have all studied the book of John, and I can never begin to express how deep the kids program goes. Those teachers love the kids and pray for them every week. And it shows. I’ve volunteered a couple times and have been so blessed and amazed to see even 18-month-old children sit still for a short story about Jesus from the Bible, and their eagerness to touch the Bible and hear God’s true words. Bible Study Fellowship has groups across the globe, and their programs are for men, women, and children starting at 2 weeks old through high school. Everyone studies the same passage – so your entire family can be studying the same lessons each week. That makes it so much easier to have conversations day in and day out with your kids because you KNOW what they are being taught and you’ve studied it yourself as well. So, thank you dear leaders and volunteers who give each week to my kids. We are blessed by your gift of love.

Just poke my eye out while you’re at it!

We’ve been here a year, and I’m finally getting all our medical stuff transfered and set up. That’s quite a bit for a whole family – eye drs, dentists, pediatrician, dr for me, one for hubby…. and not to mention how much I hate having to do all things medical. I’m rather squeamish. Ok, very squeamish. I once passed out getting an immunization. In high school. In fact, the nurse’s son was in my youth group and that night by the time I got to youth choir practice, everyone knew about my fainting episode. That must have been before the days of patient/client confidentiality. I think I slugged him one. He deserved it.

Anyway, Friday I went to the eye doctor. This one is usually my least painful of the medical exams, even though it’s full of such pressure. I can’t stand it when they show me these images and ask me which one is clearer “A, or B… A, or B… A, or B” I can always tell by the third time that the technician is trying to be patient, but is ready to move on already. It’s so much pressure! If I answer incorrectly, I might not be able to see well! And my eyes are bad enough to begin with. Half the time I end up answering, “Ummm….neither really.” And I mean it!

Last Friday was quite the doozy of a visit. They were extra thorough (surely it couldn’t be because I’m in my 30′s now???). Then they put these drops in my eyes that burn, baby, burn! As if the burning wasn’t enough, then they shine this super bright light right in front of your eyeball. And then she sneak attacked the drops to dilate my eyes. I’ve tried to avoid that as often as I can. I’ve always had some lame legitimate excuse. “I’m pregnant.” or “I’m breastfeeding.” (I mean the drops COULD get in my milk right? And we don’t want to harm the baby’s vision!) Or the “I’m just not feeling well today and I have to drive myself home.” Well, this gal must have seen me coming. She asked, “You’ve had your eyes dilated before, right?” And she had that bottle hovering over my eyes before I barely had “yes” out of my lips. AH! She was too quick for me to make an excuse! She then led me stumbling down the hallway to the next room where I waited for the doctor. Grrr. I had driven myself in hopes of making it to the grocery on my way home.

After the exam (during which the doctor took a cell phone call…I was sooo not happy at this point! Tired Momma with burning, dilated eyes!!) I headed out to my car with my awesome sunglasses on. I made it to the grocery across the street only to realize I couldn’t read my list. I held my list way far out, then super close, then somewhere in the middle I found a distance that if I closed one eye, I could read it. Sorta. I’m sure I looked ridiculous in the store. I finally gave up and got what I could remember and headed home, shy a few items. My mother-in-law was headed out as I got home and she said she’d get what I hadn’t. She went over the list with me and when I answered, “I got plain yogurt,” she looked at me, and even though I couldn’t see well, I could sense she wanted to chuckle. “No, what you got was strawberry yogurt.” Doggone it!! All I could do was laugh, and then lay down on the couch to rest my weary eyes.

The Home Stretch

Last fall when I ran my first half marathon, I felt GREAT until mile 11. Something weird hit me at mile 11 that I had never experienced in any of my training. A wave of emotion came over me head to toe, and I suddenly became very nervous and fearful that I wouldn’t finish. My right leg started to slightly cramp, and I knew that if I stopped moving, I would never be able to start again. The crowd was getting thicker, I could hear the noise at the finish line and as the excitement swelled, so did my anxiety. It was the most unusual sensation I’ve ever experienced, and it took every ounce of physical and mental strength within me to finish the last 2 miles. I crossed the finish line and veered for the grass, not even finishing the congratulations line to get my medal (I later went back for it – I earned that puppy, yeah!)

That same feeling has overcome me in the past couple weeks in regards to the final stretch of our move back to Michigan. It’s been a year already, and we have three more months until our home is finished and we will once again box up all the things we  hold dear and necessary for daily life, load it into yet another truck, and haul it 30 miles closer to the city. We will finally start our new life together in our new community, so much closer to church and work, and well, civilization in general. As I see the progress on the house and imagine the finish product, as I see our neighbors moving into their new homes, this same overwhelming emotion consumes me, and I find this irrational fear choking me. It’s taking every ounce of mental and spiritual energy I have to stay focused and calm. It’s like I can see the finish line, I can see the prize and I’m afraid it will be yanked away in front of my very eyes, as if the whole transition has just been a tease in order to let me down.

To top things off, at the same time this crazy, foundationless emotion hit, so did real-life junk. Big junk. Like bad taxes and car engines dying. Weird stuff that is usually pretty rare. Tonight at dinner, I confessed to my husband that I’m discouraged and distracted. If I focus on the numbers, all I can see is how terribly costly this past year has been for us. I mean hello – Florida doesn’t have any state income tax! And that’s just the start of what all I could list.

Then my dear, steady husband reminded me that it’s all a matter of perspective. I can focus on the costs, or I can focus on how God has provided and met each need. One reason of many why I love that man – he knows how to keep me on track – not an easy task! I pondered his words on the way home and had to concede that God’s economy isn’t made of dollars and cents. It’s made up of faith and love and how I respond to the people and events that happen in my life – including those that cost dollars and dollars and dollars.

So, I said outloud – “Satan, you’re not gonna get me. Not this time. I know your tricks. It aint gonna work this time.” And I started to thank God for His faithfulness over the years, and give my new house back to Him, and the cars, and the finances, and ask Him to help me be faithful. I’m sure I’ll go through the process of turning everything over again tomorrow. And the next day. Crazy thing about that homestretch emotion – it likes to tag along until the finish line, creating a big drag resistance. But I’ll keep on running. I know what and Who is waiting for me.

Dream word girl

I think I have a mini wordsmith on my hands. Little Miss has taken her vocabulary to new heights. I remember the days when I would revel at each new word and laugh at how she would mimic our own quirky phrases. These days, however, I can’t keep up with her. This morning she informed me that “vehicle is another word for car.” You are so correct my 5-year-old sweetie. Then this afternoon she told me that “you use the word surprise when you didn’t expect something.” Wow. Pretty accurate description. She’s constantly asking, “What is that? What does that mean?” I really do need to get a little pocket dictionary to keep handy. She’s challenging my powers of description. Pretty soon she’ll be proofreading my blogs and making corrections. Ok, now that’s scary and probably not that far from the truth. I have a few high school friends who are now snickering and waiting on the edge of their seat for that day. I was, ahem, “famous” for replying to notes in school with spelling and grammar corrections. So sorry for the scars, dear friends.

This afternoon Nana and I were talking about someone getting ready to graduate from law school and become a lawyer. Lil Miss asked, “What’s a lawyer?” That’s kind of hard one to describe in terms for a 5-year-old to understand. We fumbled our way through it until her satisfied response was, “I think I might like to be one of those some day.” Oh mercy. We won’t even go there, because she already soooo has the powers of persuasion. I remember a couple years ago one of my brother-in-laws trying to convince her of something that she just would not buy. For every reason he presented, she had a valid objection. I finally ended the debate with, “Bro, just give up. You won’t win. Admit that you lost a debate to a 3-year-old!”

And the last laugh of my day was this conversation: After playing with some Cinderella stickers that said, “Follow your dreams” Little Miss decided it was her job to find out what the dreams of everyone in the house are. She asked me, “Mama, what’s your dream?” I looked at her and said, “Well, besides being married to your Daddy and being your Mama? I would have to say…writing a book.” She looked at me and said very matter-of-factly, “That dream will come true.” I raised my eyebrows at her certainty and said, “Oh really?” With the same confident air she said, “Yes. You can write your book on paper and draw your pictures and staple it together. Now what’s another dream you have?” Love that girl and her confidence. Can I borrow some from her?

Run, mama, run!

I’ve been running quite a bit lately – working my way up to 15 miles for the 25k in early May. There’s nothing to keep you moving and focused during the frustrating months of spring (especially while waiting for a house to be built) like training for a race. I keep telling myself that by the time this race is over, summer will be just around the corner, and our house will have walls. And we should be out of snow’s way by early May. But it is Michigan. Predictably unpredictable.

It’s hard to believe that last year this time I was huffing my way through 2 miles and in 2 days I’ll be running 12 (and hopefully not huffing too much). I’ve had a good number of friends ask me recently how I got started and worked my way up to a half marathon. I’ve shared my thoughts on the process over on our running blog: From 0-13.

A solid foundation

Today, was a brilliantly sunny, happy day. This morning, the kids and I stood on our new street watching a digger begin to carve out the foundation for our new home. The construction worker waved at us as we happily stood next to our car imagining the fun we will have on this street starting this summer. We’ve been waiting a long time for this. March 31 marks one year that we left Florida and moved in with my gracious in-laws, one year that my kids have been such good sports sharing a small bedroom, one year of waiting and praying and doing our best to make good decisions for our future. And now, the foundation is being laid.

I looked up and down the street at all the new homes being built. One is complete and waiting for a buyer. Another lot has a sold sign and is waiting for a foundation. Another is being roofed, another being framed. So much potential is being developed on our new street. I found myself praying for a good foundation for our new community – that this would be a street where people felt physically and emotionally safe, that this would be a street where neighbors love each other and surround each other in times of joy and of need, that this would be a street where our doors are open to each other, that this would be a street where children are friends and treat each other well, that this would be a community that makes God smile.

Sprung forward on my face

Image courtesy sxc.hu

This has been an eventful time change week for me. I’ve never liked the spring forward time change. I NEED that hour of sleep! Come on people, we have little kids here. This messes us up for weeks! And then to top it all off, mid-January I started eating really, really clean – and that included cutting caffeine out entirely. After being a miserable grizzly bear woken up in the dead of winter for 3 days, my withdrawal symptoms went away and I found myself more energized than ever. Since then, I’ve only had 4 cups of regular coffee – 3 of those were this week! (I had one cup last week by accident when at the McD’s drive through I forgot to say decaf and didn’t realize it until I took my first sip. I was jittery all day!)

The messed up week started on Monday. I know, time change was on Saturday night, but we go to church on Saturday nights, so Sundays are really lazy for us. I’m a night owl, and I have a hard time going to bed at a decent hour anyway, then change the time on me and I’m really messed up. I stayed up waaay too late on Sunday night. Monday morning, remembering how incredibly energized that one cup of accidental regular coffee made me, I decided to re-heat a cup of coffee in the microwave from the pot my husband had made the day before. (I know, that’s really desperate to reheat day old coffee!) When I pulled the cup of coffee out of the microwave, it was empty. Talk about confused! At first I looked to see if it had spilled all over the microwave, when in my groggy state I realized the cup was CLEAN. I had put it in the microwave without ever putting any coffee in it. Sad, sad morning my friends! I tried again and this time succeeded.

The next day while out and about, I decided to leave it to McD’s drive through to make sure I actually got coffee in my cup on the first try. They did a much better job than I had done the day before. And today….I managed to get coffee in the cup first try (reheated again). BUT, I was getting out of bed just 15 minutes before we were supposed to be walking out the door for Bible study. Oh mercy. I’m just really glad I had set everyone’s (green) clothes and shoes out the night before, and that my kids are able to dress themselves. We made it on time somehow. I’m sure I looked a little frazzled – but at least I had my coffee so I was a bit wired and not at all sleepy during Bible study. Maybe that’s why my group looked at me a little funny a couple times during class….frazzled curly-haired, fast talking, wide-eyed, crazy class member!!

the year of chrysalis

This month marks one year since we moved back to Michigan after living in Florida for 6 years. It also marks one year that we’ve been living with my in-laws way out in the country. It’s been a year of waiting. A year of wondering. A year of wishing. A year of learning to be patient….for a house to sell, to recoup the cost of the move, to save up for a new house, and now for our new home to be built. If you had told me a year ago that I’d be here, out in the country, occupying 2 bedrooms of my in-laws’ house for over a year, I’d have cried, then most likely screamed the next time I took a shower. I’m definitely not the same person I was when we moved one year ago! I’ve had a couple people comment on how they could never do what we’ve done. I reply that I haven’t either. God has given me exactly what I’ve needed for each day.

I took the kids to our local botanical gardens this morning to see the yearly spring butterfly exhibit. I love to stand by the plexiglass box and stare at the rows of chrysalises and butterflies just emerging. As I stood in awe today of the miracle of metamorphosis, I couldn’t help but think that I’ve been living in a chrysalis the past year. Like a butterfly in its protective covering, we’ve been cocooned out in the country, 45-minutes from city-distraction, all our stuff in boxes -some of it also 45 minutes away in the city, no decent internet connection or cell phone signal, and hours upon hours of driving to wherever we need to go. Life has slowed down considerably from the fast-paced life in the big Florida city. This sheltered state has allowed for so much personal growth and the time to think. The highlights of my weeks have been running on dirt roads and tea parties with the great grandparents. And I’ve loved it. I’ve learned how to be patient, and to appreciate beauty in forms of pink painted sunsets, ice covered forests, and winds blowing through cornfields. My entertainment has been watching the kids fall in love with their great-grandparents over cookies and chocolate milk. It’s been a year of restorative peace. It’s been a year of growth. I’m ready to emerge more beautiful than the caterpillar I was before.

I didn’t intend to be an absentee blogger this past year. But it was necessary – not only out of unreliable internet, but also for my mind to just rest, and enjoy living without having to analyze each day for a story. I’m refreshed. I’m back.

Comeback

I’m easing myself back into the blogging world. We’re still in the midst of a tornado of change as we build a house and anticipate one last move from the in-laws into our new home hopefully in June. Come August, I don’t ever, ever want to see another moving box. Ever. If you’re moving and need help, so sorry. Just kidding

I’ll start being more regular around here again in the next few weeks, if anyone is still around to care that is! In the meantime – I’ve started a new blog with my running partner – specifically all about our running adventures, which are many!

To run is fun!

Tweets for 2010-03-11

• @jengdahl oooh they kill my budget too! in reply to jengdahl #
• our new running blog is live. Read and laugh! haha! http://www.torunisfun.com #